A good neighbor isn’t just someone that everyone can count on. I definitely got lucky. Grandma Nancy should be her title. Jonah loves her, and she loves him. She is always so concerned about Jonah and I when Mahonrri is away. She is like my own private outdoor security system. She watches the house and the cars parked in front, takes my trash cans in if I don’t do it soon enough, and is always checking in on us. Now with me being pregnant she is all the more concerned and watchful. She has a 4 year old grand daughter living with her, and recently she has been trying to get us together so I can relax and let the kids run loose together – her way of helping out. Can I just say, there is a shortage of great women out there? Funny, I didn’t think that I was going to benefit from it as much as I did, but she was always there making sure that her grand daughter was holding Jonah’s hand when we were walking somewhere (which meant no fighting to hold his hand on my part or chasing him if/when he ran off), and finding some way to entertain him so I didn’t have to do a thing. It really was a relief. A good old fashioned woman that respects the power and ability of a woman, but more than understands the rest and slow pace that is necessary for a pregnant mother – even one who doesn’t ask for or appear to need help.
Do you ever find yourself looking around at other woman and thinking that they just have it all together? And maybe you think that you just can’t compete with the energy and competency of other mothers… especially when they have 4 and you only have one (and a half). Golly, isn’t that so easy to do? Funny I was told the other day that I make being a mommy seem so easy. I laughed! Easy?? No way. This pregnant body is all but spent. What energy and strength I have goes to my toddler and I am left to run on steam. Never let yourself get caught in that sticky web of comparison and assumption. You are almost always miscalculating what you see. Instead, the next time you see a pregnant woman with a toddler and you assume she just has it all together, stop and help her lift something off a tall shelf at the grocery store, or pick up something her toddler threw on the ground, or maybe even head off the path of her runaway child. Because the less she has to run, lift, bend, push or whatever extra something she doesn’t have to do means more energy remaining for her to take care of her at the end of the day… and a mommy who has time for her, is a mommy less ready to cave in the solidarity of her own home. Don’t ask. Just do. Anything helps. Even just having someone notice and care can make all the difference in the world.
Peace Gardens, Salt Lake City, UT